Party conferences - why do they even bother?
Filed Under: Life in the UK Tags: annual party conferences, David Cameron, Ed Miliband, Labour, Liberal Democrats, London, News, Nick Clegg, Tony Blair, Tories .
Adam Lovejoy writes from London: As the annual gatherings of the three major political parties in Britain are upon us, let’s take a pause for a moment and ask ourselves this: what is exactly the point of all these annual party conferences when the only thing they are famous for is rubberstamping decisions taken in advance, heavy drinking and dope taking?
© Stirring Trouble Internationally Google+ Nothing is ever said of any substance at these pathetic gatherings. All the speeches are vetted by the leadership and everyone is obliged to toe the party line. (All in the interests of keeping the unity intact and winning the elections.) Everything is decided in advance and the climax of each annual party conference is the speech by the relevant great leader who is greeted with rapturous applause, even if he’s rubbish at what he does. (That would apply to all the three major parties in Britain at the moment.)
Let me give you some indication of how useless party conferences have become. Not one party leader or senior member of the leadership had ever been ousted at these gatherings, with the delegates gritting their teeth and applauding to some non-nonentity. Grotesquely idiotic and undeliverable policies had been approved that had nothing to do with the real needs of the country and not a single delegate had ever stood up and said: ‘Are you people f..king nuts or what?’ Yet, vast amounts of money were blown on security for these gatherings that could have been spent on other things, like batting crime, for example, or funding the trial of that war criminal Tony Blair.
This year it is going to be no different. First comes the Liberal Democrats, who will gather in Brighton to pretend that they are not looking at a meltdown at the next election and, even more importantly, that they haven’t sold their supporters down the river by getting into bed with the Tories.
The great leader, Nick Clegg, will keep his job, even though easily excitable hacks will bang on about the tensions in the party and the battle for its soul. Drinking will be widespread and dope taking will be happening all over the place as well, as the Lib Dems are known for their tolerant approach to drugs.
Delegate after delegate would come up with the most appalling left-wing drivel and at times it would seem that the party may do everyone a favour by voting to disband itself there and then. 
Party conferences - who cares what they say?
Then it would be Labour’s turn to bore the nation with their drivel, insisting that they know what needs to be done to get the country out of the mess it is in. The mess, I would add, Labour created in the first place.
These arrogant left-wingers have learnt nothing from their disastrous 13 years in government. They didn’t even bother to apologise for starting a war in Iraq on false pretences, bankrupting the country, corrupting the civil service and dismantling the British constitution.
Not to mention changing the social landscape by opening the doors to uncontrollable immigration, introducing round the clock drinking and relaxing restrictions on gambling.
The gathering would listen to Ed Miliband in awe, as if he knows what he is talking about, and applaud hysterically. Nothing of any substance will be decided but the comrades will still congratulate themselves on the great reviews in leftie rags like the Guardian that they would get. And then would come the turn of the Tories to stage their annual bash and once again irrelevance and boredom would reign in the conference hall during the early part of the day, with things picking up in the afternoon and in the evening when alcohol would flow and sweet smoke would rise in the London corridors and toilets.
Delegates will pretend that they are actually still conservatives, even though everyone knows by now that they are lefties who have no idea what to do.
David Cameron will get his share of applause and will get it into his head that he is not such a bad leader after all. And the agony would continue for another year. Why they all bother, I have no idea.
Via Stirring Trouble Internationally - A humorous take on news and current affairs
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Filed Under: Life in the UK Tags: annual party conferences, David Cameron, Ed Miliband, Labour, Liberal Democrats, London, News, Nick Clegg, Tony Blair, Tories .
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