Responding To Breaking News

R.F.Wilson makes a satirical response to the art of breaking news from London and Around The World.

breaking news
It always makes sense to call several people after you learn the latest breaking news and share the information with them.

     Don’t forget, knowing your breaking news and breaking it first to your friends makes you look informed, sophisticated and well connected.

     It also fills your otherwise boring day with excitement and suspense. If you feel particularly adventurous, you may actually invent your own breaking news, by calling other people and turning the most conventional stories into hot breaking news items.

     You can also exaggerate what has happened, as breaking news is often incorrect. So add those facts and figures from the top of your head, making them sound as absurd as possible, because later you can always say that the first reports were very confusing.

     But one thing is important to remember: never be ashamed of picking up breaking news items from others and then pretending that you’ve learnt it first. The big TV and radio networks actually get most of their breaking news from other news providers, like press agency wires and online websites, including social media, so it makes the whole thing open for anyone who likes to be seen informed.

Breaking news is not about news really. But why not benefit from it, making your life just a little bit more exciting? Related articles